Corrupt a wish

[DistinctMadness]

granted but you become allergic to everything other than poison
I wish for the ability to fly

 

[Freakworld]

Granted you cant stop though, and fly into outer space.

I wish I was in

SPAAAAAAAAACE (with Oxygen)

 

[DistinctMadness]

granted but you drift endlessly until death (which comes quickly since your blood comes out of your nose, mouth, and eyes causing you to black out in about 20 seconds)
I wish i had my own credit/debit card

 

[Srentiln]

Granted, but it's counterfeit and you get arrested

I wish for some chicken strips

 

[skyerzz]

I wish for a new banana.

 

[halex44]

Granted, but because all carbohydrates turn to sugar once they reach the blood stream, they spike your blood sugar levels. This sets your body up for cravings, irritability, lack of focus and weight gain if you ride the blood sugar roller coaster long enough. Therefore, after one banana you become obsessed and before you know it you are helplessly overweight and can't leave your house.

I wish for fine wine and spirits.

 

[DistinctMadness]

granted but the spirts drink your wine and leave therefore you have nothing
I wish halex didn't creep my out with that last post

 

[Mr_Destructo69]

Granted, but it wasn't the post that creeped you out, it was the dog in his profile picture.

I wish for the power to turn invisible.

 

[halex44]

Granted, but even if you're invisible the dog can still see you.

I wish for quality customer service.

 

[DistinctMadness]

granted but you have to serve as a customer service person

I wish that halex would change his prof pic so that i wasn't creeped out as previously stated

 

[Zatharel]

Granted, but nowyou are sad because of it, not creeped out.

I wish for a new carpet.

 

[creeperTNTman198]

Granted, its a flea-ridden, rotten carpet that has no value
I wish that I didn't have to make up snow days

 

[Srentiln]

Granted, but they don't look as nice without the eyeliner and blush

I wish for enough time and patience to do anything I want to do.

 

[creeperTNTman198]

Granted, but you get bored
I wish sren didn't make puns

 

[DistinctMadness]

granted but now he makes bad jokes twice as often.

I wish creeper would have a name that you could twist around and insult (i tried for like half an hour after he told me to try)

 

[skyerzz]

You find a twisted way, but it doesnt insult him. You just spent 6 hours trying, while you could have done better things.

I wish for zero not to be offline :/

 

[Freakworld]

Granted. It is now whitelisted.

I wish for some pancakes filled with bacon.

 

[creeperTNTman198]

Granted, but the bacon is raw and you die
I wish that my eagle project proposal didn't take 4 hours to fill out
Edit: In retrospect, i should have wished lag didn't exist

 

[rickyboy320]

Granted, but the bacon is raw and you die
I wish that my eagle project proposal didn't take 4 hours to fill out
Edit: In retrospect, i should have wished lag didn't exist

Erm... how can you die from raw bacon...?

Your eagle project proposal doesn't take 4 hours to fill out anymore, but since you've got to do something in the 3 hours you normally should've made that, you never succesfully filled in the proposal and wasted the time you actually put in it.

Edit: lag doesn't exist anymore, you now get kicked everytime you normally should lag, which avoids the existance of lag.

I wish for a tomato.

 

[DistinctMadness]

granted but its rotten and as you eat it, it makes you sick.

I wish for there to be less pain in my feet

You can't die of the raw bacon per say, but since its raw all the bacteria on it can enter you and make you sick to the point of death